BHRR's Bean weighed 55.2 KGS(121.44 pounds) today when I brought him in to have a consult and exam with Dr. Philibert. At this time, tonight I am going to snuggle and cuddle with BHRR's Bean and we are going to create more wonderful memories and experiences for him. I am also going to have a big box of Kleenex on hand. After spending almost $2,000 of my own monies AS I so wanted to dot all 'i's' and cross all 't's' before reaching this point; to see 2 Vets and 3 Othro Specialists; all are pretty much in align with each other. Dr. Philibert also believes that his knee is this way due to the HD and this is why he is walking 'toes' out and therefore 'popped' the knee. It is not a birth defect and his hips are only going to get worse in time and with how complex everything is, it is not great. Dr. Philibert felt that BHRR's Bean's front end was super strong and full of muscle yet his hind end is so poorly conformed and lacking tone. Dr. Philibert stated that he could most likely give BHRR's Bean some improvement in the knee yet it would not be aligned straight and with his hips the way they are; he will most likely(short term yet maybe longer) 'pop' it out again and that it is only a matter of time before the other knee also becomes affected. Dr. Philibert was also more worried about the left side over the right side right now, which was interesting to note. Dr. Philibert believes that the knee cap most likely is already very worn on the one side from wear and tear and it will also be a contributing factor to the knee not staying where it should. He felt that he perhaps could 'shave' off some bone in the leg and look at smoothing the knee cap yet the prognosis is really not great over all. Per Dr. Philibert straight up you cannot leave him like this and this is a very complicated case and that though he is pretty sure about 70% that he can give him some improvement yet no one knows how long that will last (big giant breed growing puppy) before he runs into the same issues and most likely the same and even more issues involving the other leg. Dr. Philibert did say that the surgery could be a complete failure from the start too. Dr. Philibert recommended to keep up with the anti-imflammatories, glucosamine and we discussed the worry that with all the pain BHRR's Bean is in; that he will continue to decrease in mobility, decrease in his appetite and that he will increase in his 'crankiness' with that pain. NO one wants to see BHRR's Bean or any dog set up for failure by living in such pain that should someone(imagine a child) accidentally 'hurting' him and him just 'reacting' due to his level of discomfort. I write this blog with such sickness in my gut and no matter how many we have saved over the past year with amputations, cruciates and obstructions surgeries, it is the BHRR's Bean's and BHRR's Jaxson's of the world that just rip me up inside and tear at me with the feelings of that I have somehow failed them……….. All those 'what ifs' are running through my mind…'what if' we knew about him earlier and when he was super younger…..'what if' this….'what if' that…..so many 'what ifs'…..What I do know for sure is that when it is time and I know that time is limited and I have known that in my gut for awhile now; that BHRR's Bean will be held tightly in my caring and adoring arms and I shall wash him in the love of my tears as I cross him over into a world of no pain. That is my final act of promise of ensuring that he shall be done right by. No more suffering other than what shall linger in my own heart and gut and soul for the rest of my life. Is is the ones that we cannot save that I remember so vividly and am so deeply afffected by for even though I am well aware that you cannot 'save' them all and that sometimes the kindest thing one can do is to let them go; it still just seems so unfair that that all cannot live long quality filled and cherished lives. We shall also give BHRR's Bean an 'early' XMAS here for he is deserving of all the pleasures that life can be given to him during the time we have left! If anyone wishes to contribute early to our 8th ANNUAL SECRET SANTA TO THE BHRR ANIMALS EVENT by choosing BHRR's Bean as a recipient; please do email.