I am writing this with a very clenched heavy heart and tears. I avoided typing this all day for to do so, makes the reality seem just that much more harsh. I made the decision to let Samson go last night. As selfish as I wanted to be, he deserves better and he had the right to keep his dignity. Samson had begun to suffer and that is something that I could not bear to be the cause of prolonged pain to him. I do have several regrets where Samson is concerned:
1) That I did not have more time with him
2) That his body began shutting down on him LONG before his heart, soul and mind were ready to cross over. He was full of lessons, quietly yet sagely given and that we could only benefit from. I deeply mourn such a huge loss.
3) That I shall do my 5:30 AM walks without him. Samson and I had a ritual that before most of the rest of the world was awake, he and I alone would take a stroll at his pace down our laneway and if he was up to it, down one of the paths that we have begun to cut through the property. It was almost magical watching the sun come up with Samson by my side and I just knew that he experienced just as much joy in something that was so very special.
4) I regret that Samson did not see one more sunrise or have one more stroll. His poor old body could barely stand and he would fall over even trying to pee.
5) I regret that people did not seem to realise just what a magnificent creature Samson was and open up their home/hearts to adopt him yet if they had; I would not have had the time that I did have with him. AND that time is something that I will never regret.
Samson did not have a mean bone in his body, he was kind, gentle, wise and for those that have met him, a rare gem of this world. There was not one dog or human that he did not like. I held him in my arms last night stroking him and I could see the trust through the pain in his eyes. At one point I could only bury my face in his neck and try not to sob. I am filled with impossible pain and my dear sweet beloved Samson, we will meet again and we will take longer walks as your body will be healthy and light and we will experience eternal sunsets together, my old friend. You were one in a million.